I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My vagina is very pro this idea
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
