I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
