i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize