plz talk dirty to me
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just gargled with NyQuil
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
