Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
