i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Randomize
