I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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