PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize