Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
