The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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