idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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