Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
