another moral hangover. fuck.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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