I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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