A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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