just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
