i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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