I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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