he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
