I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
