if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I am spending my child support on dildos
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
