real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
