If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
