I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize