Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
