haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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