I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
