So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
