You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
