I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize