I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
