Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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