So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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