Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
