so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
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Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
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Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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