ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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