my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
It's rum buckets o'clock
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
