return my video game
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
