she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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