how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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