how can u be prego again
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
