Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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