Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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