You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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