It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
