So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize