Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
