I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
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You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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