On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
