hotel room ftw
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
