i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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