its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
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