One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Is Oprah even human
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
