Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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