So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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