hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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