high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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