if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
