Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
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