I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize