I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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