Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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