I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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