She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
