literally had 100 drinks last night.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
