I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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