that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
