I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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